Our Family's Past Is The Foundation For Our Future

Roads always have a connection to where we have been and where we are going.

No matter how splendid or mundane, loud or quiet our families are the foundation we are building our own lives upon.  The good, bad or indifferent---it matters not.  Those decisions made from their lives effect ours.  If they laid a solid, honorable foundation it makes it a lot easier for us to pursue the same.  If they were careless and selfish we are indeed in a battle to become honorable citizens in our world.

Some of us would like to separate ourselves from those of our past.  We try to ignore them, forget them and perhaps try not to hate them for their decisions.  Yet we cannot seem to be free of them.  Those of us who suffered abuse at their hands or neglect, or any other damage have choices to make of our own in order to go forward in life.  Do we choose to forgive them and go on with our lives or spend untold hours in hatred and resentment.

While researching our family history, we will surely find men and women who made unfortunate choices that have sent ripples throughout our family history.  Men and women who were not careful in how they raised their children, who harmed them and others in their families.  Those who abandoned children and spouses, those who might have ended up in prison.  Do we feel anger toward them?  Do we hate them for their actions?  

It can be easy to make judgements against them through the end of the telescope we are looking through.  Yet, we weren't there and can not possibly know why they did what they did, or why they made those decisions.  What circumstances forces a mother to sell her children?  What could cause a man to abandon his wife and children?  When I first saw a photo of a woman and her children during the great depression with a sign "children for sale"...I cried looking at the pain on her face.  She had no way to feed her children and had reached a place of hopelessness.

Perhaps if we can look at our family's past with a compassionate eye, the sad and bad can be easier to deal with.  It can also let us examine our own contribution to the future generations coming along.  What do we want them to think about us?  Are we leaving a legacy of kindness and generosity or one of selfishness and greed?  I realize this sounds kind of preachy, but these are the kinds of things we deal with when doing our family genealogy.

I have started looking at my ancestors with an eye on their whole life, the good and bad to learn just who they really were.  I am learning to love them just like they were and to enjoy the journey a whole lot more.